Making plans ahead, dreaming of pure fun, forgetting the past.
I think I’m growing up. I am someone I do not know. Influenced by outer forces, good inside but evil at times and a melting pot of contradicting values. When people get old they do more important stuff than to tell everyone about what happened to them for the day, week, month or even the entire year. I myself have not opened my blog in a while due to some errands I do lately.
There’s this quote I’ve retweeted on Twitter about looking forward and not looking back because that’s the point why God put our eyes on the front of our body. It makes sense actually. Most of us kept on thinking about the past, of the “what ifs”, of the “what could have been”, of the regrets, and the like. We forget to also remember that our past mistakes have been said and done already and that LIFE will NEVER EVER have an “UNDO” button. Luckily we can “REDO” our actions but hopefully we redo it by learning from the mistakes done and doing it right for the second or nth time around.
Saying that we are human and we make mistakes is a rotten belief already, but it is really true we do make mistakes because we are not perfect. Sometimes our environment, our way of thinking, and our way of defining things lead us to choosing the wrong and stupid options. Being selfish and impulsive lead us to wrong choices sometimes too. (At least for me) All of these choices we have made that made us realize how stupid we are ironically make us wiser, because we now know what to do and what not. It makes us grow. Believe me.
I have a lot of regrets in life that remembering all of them will hyperbolically take me few days. When I’m thinking of the times I’ve wasted, I’m subconsciously wasting my time even more. There were a few times I wanted to go back for that other page & see what may have happened had I chosen it. Would I be better off? Or would that have been the catalyst for something even worse? Who knows? The silly thing is that no amount of worrying or wondering will allow me to know. Not worrying or wondering is easier said than done. I’ve been thinking a lot in this manner, because perhaps it’s time for a change of perspective. Frankly, every night before I go to sleep, I reminisce about my life before and yes, it makes me sad to realize that I have done a lot of wrong moves in the past; however, every after realization is a lesson always learned. Now, I wouldn’t dare put those mistakes in backtrack mode because I am now ready to start my engine, focus on the road leading me to my destination, and ignore U-turns. I’ve allowed myself to think in a way that isn’t entirely healthy or favorable to a really fulfilling, happy life. I’m putting my foot down. Worry less. Smile more. Accept criticism. Take responsibility. Listen, love & don’t hate. Embrace change. Feel good anyway. Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect; it’s looking beyond the imperfections.
Past is mostly forgotten, lessons remain though. Now that it is, the future is what I have been preparing for. It makes me extremely happy thinking about future plans, love, career, work, and trips. Believe me, thinking about the future is a drug for me, it gets me high although I don’t know how it really feels like. I just thought of a metaphor here. One of these days I’ll blog about these plans. I kept on thinking about the future, of course I never forgot there’s such a thing called “living the present”. I know it would still be a rocky road ahead but EVERY LITTLE or BIG THING SHALL PASS. This has been an ongoing project of mine, I’m trying to simplify my life…I’m still a work in progress. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps…