There are times when you want to go back to the days when you’re still a kid, sobbing because of toys, getting scolded, not being allowed to play outside, or not being given what you want. No worries care less.
When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes, you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being so fun and start being scary?
Nobody cares. Nobody’s sorry for you. Nobody comforting you. Nobody’s there for you. You are like an invisible statue sitting in one corner. You would wish to not care. To not pity. To not love. To not help. To be bad. What good can you get when you’re like that? At least you won’t feel any pain. You won’t feel happiness but you won’t feel sadness too. To be a heartless stone. It’s like turning off all the feelings.
There are times when you feel so much pain and so down. You feel unloved. You feel unimportant. You feel ignored. You feel like a trash that was thrown from other side. You wanna cry but tears aren’t coming out. Emotions are pouring but you don’t know how to let it out. You want to shout so damn loud but your voice is stuck in your throat. Everything is in your chest and it’s making you feel like you’ll be having a mini heart attack or angina anytime. You wanna sleep coz’ your eyes are drooping but every time you close your eyes, a puzzle of thoughts pops up on nowhere.
There comes a point in your life, when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever grow up? No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are forever stumbling…forever wondering, forever…young.
Nobody ever gave a manual or a study guide of some sort about life, so that we’re able to determine what steps to follow, which road to take. The break is about to end and I still don’t have the answers. Time to think! You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.