I feel like I do not deserve you.
You deserve a woman who is beautiful, whose face carries flawless, soft skin, and a smile that lights up the room. You deserve someone who walks with grace and speaks with the most decadent of voices. She should be gentle, caring, submissive, sweet…
She will lend you her body most nights, and you will enjoy her beauty. You will have adorable children.
I can see you walking down the mall with her perfection snug around your arm, with your eldest bundle of energy running down to catch up with his nanny, pushing the stroller holding your 5-month old baby.
Society has taught me to view her as the epitome of ideal,
And because I refuse to conform,
Society has warned me that
You will see me for who I truly am and……
You will let go.
I feel like you deserve me.
You deserve a woman who fought for the respect of her appearance, whose face carries invisible battle scars and true emotions. You deserve someone who feels the music in her soul when she dances, and speaks with the purest sincerity.
I will not lend you anything, for those who lend expect back.
I will give you my love most nights.
I can see us going on adventures in Manila, exploring the little Chinatown and buying silly collectible items, eating spicy Asian foods and arguing over the taste of Cilantro, or going bargain hunting for things we like. We will be passionate, we will fight, and we will feel fantastic.
Because even though society insists that our chances are improbable, I refuse to conform.
Society will always try to warn me, but you will see me for who I truly am and we shall hold on.
Flashback to previous entry –>Letters to X: First Kiss