The Little Things

One cold night, you’re all alone in your room, taking a break from all the stress the world placed on you. You can’t help but notice the slight pitter-patter of rain in your window as you cuddle snugly in bed.

You somehow manage to frown, thinking that time is progressive. At times you want to stop the clock—or at least slow it down a bit—you can’t, unless you want it to ruthlessly leave you behind. Life moves too fast.

You remember your childhood. You realize that life won’t be as easy as it was when you were 5, or 7, or 10. You wish you to be young again—that getting a lollipop would mean the world to you; that hugging your teddy bear as you sleep instantly safeguards you from nightmares.

All of a sudden, it comes to a halt, and after 2 milliseconds or so, heavy rain comes crashing down.

Then it hits you. You’ll never be young again. The reason why you couldn’t go back is that you’re meant to move forward. Each passing day is a step closer to your destination, and every step comes with a huge set of challenges.

The rain decides to stop. A rainbow emerges on the horizon, and you suddenly feel lighter.

You realize that life wouldn’t be the same if you were always a kid, if you always had the world to yourself, if you hadn’t moved on. You’re a big girl now, and you can handle anything you tell yourself you can handle. It’s amazing how small things could make you understand the big pictures.

After all, you could still cuddle up in bed with your teddy bear; you could still enjoy the majestic presence of the rainbow in your room.

Found. YOU. YES, YOU

In times of nothingness I have found you. You’re in between the thought of a stranger to me and someone I knew. Nonetheless, you are considered a blessing and I hold that idea with me. How can someone be so gentle? I have known you so little yet it meant a lot, considering you brought something out of me I thought I no longer have. You say every day might be short-lived but yet again you always remind that life is surreal. I recall the date I have my first date with you and it was pretty awkward. But, t’was something you don’t really get a lot. You and I both, we were a complete mess. I couldn’t hide my imperfections and I thought, “Way to go for a first impression?”

It feels nice to be treated well by someone most especially if both of you feel the same way, that even if you don’t say it, it radiates. No matter what you do, you can’t just hide that certain chemistry. You know it’s sincere if you’re not expecting something in return, it comes out naturally, and you don’t take credit for any of those gestures. I still prefer the unconscious effort more than anything.

Your presence felt like home and somehow, in all the silences, awkward pauses, and unexpected laughter, I feel the safest. In every instance of you holding my hand and me, leaning towards the familiar crevice between your neck and your shoulder, there is a warmth that reminds me of a place I often connect with accepting hugs and cozy blankets.

You never fail to make me laugh, despite all our troubles. You seem to know everything that’s on my mind. You serenade me with your gentle ‘I love you’s and ‘I miss you’s. You always know when I need you. You say that you’re mine, forever, and that you’ll never let me go. You tell me that my eyes shine brighter than the stars in heaven, and all those profoundly-structured compliments. You bring all those romantic movie scenes to life, and built me the perfect love story. You seem to make me want to run away and leave everything behind. You make my life seem like a dream.

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You. Yes, you.

And cherish the moments you least expect to happen. You take it all in like as if you know so much but not at all. You experience the most unexplainable feeling yet cannot put them into words. The uncertainty of what is happening makes everything beautiful and even if you try to grasp it and keep it, all you can do is inhale it and let your heart fill the emotion.

People with good effect within us don’t come by often, for all I know it’s one in a million. Even though things will eventually fleet or chances are it will fade away. I couldn’t thank this moment enough for making me feel okay. With that being said, I say cheers to all the little good genuine feelings you gave me. :)

Happy 182 days baby! I love you!

On The Definition of Love

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Before I proceed with this awfully-thought-of post, let me tell you straight – as a young little girl to a man, woman, sheep, dog or whatever you are – I am not the best ‘love guru’ there is. So in behalf of my non-alcohol drunk self, please excuse my lack of knowledge on ‘Love’. Like you, I’m still figuring it out as well.

This is what I assume love is:

Love is licking off an ice cream on a hot sunny day. You feel the sun burning on your skin. You could almost see the smoke coming out of it. But one lick changes everything. The sweet vanilla taste runs cold in your throat contrasting the burning heat.

Love is a swing set. No matter how hard you kick in, you can never go all around.

Love is getting drunk with your best friends. You feel safe and secured and take the cab home together, slightly embarrassed. You’ve had a good time and it’s that kind of friendship you’d like to take with your ageing self.

Love is the smell of a baby from a fresh hot bath. Fresh, new and delicate. But you know that eventually, the baby will stink.

Love is laughing so hard until your face numbs but you continue to laugh anyway. Because that’s love, you continue to do it even when you’re already hurting.  I don’t know if that’s good though.

Love is that fleeting feeling of insanity while being scientifically sane. You do things you don’t want to do. You do things that you think is logically acceptable. You do things that feeds your insomnia. You do things that makes you cover your face with a pillow and yell. You do things.

Love is ugly. It bleeds the worst out of a person’s being. Jealousy, anger, fears, and more heated anger. It’s all there, gushing out.

Love is that moment of satisfaction and great intensity of feelings bursting out from everywhere around you with just a wink of an eye – his eye.

Or that moment of inferiority, but you don’t even care as long as he’s there.

Human beings. We are crazy.

Happy Love Month everybody! Spread the love!

Movie Blog: That Thing Called Tadhana

Where do broken hearts go? And can they find their way home? “That Thing Called Tadhana” tries to answer those questions and more.

Tadhana. Fate. Destiny. Do you guys believe in it?  How about soulmate?thatthingcalledtadhanadsweetbox

Let me tell you upfront that this is the HUGOT film of the year. Most chick-flicks revolve around the blossoming of love. Others focus in the moving on process. This film tried to cross those boundaries and let everyone know that both of them can’t just happen on the same day.

Ever since I missed the initial screening of this movie, I’ve waited for it to be released. Due to positive reviews from fans and critics, the indie film has been picked up by Star Cinema for nationwide release on February 4. So when I finally got to watch it, I was so- so about it.

Before you continue I should warn you that this may contain SPOILERS!!! A lot of emotions and a whole lot more of feelings. So if you think that you will not be able to handle them, you can always press X and come back after you see the movie.

One more thing, PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME.

Part of this year’s Cinema One Originals Film Festival is Antoinette Jadaone’s  ‘That Thing Called Tadhana’. A Rom-Com that tells the story of Mace (Angelica Panganiban) and Anthony (JM De Guzman) met, by fate and chance, at the airport in Rome on their way back to Manila. Mace recently got out of a terrible breakup from an eight-year relationship. With nothing better to do, Anthony decides to accompany the damsel in distress from crying in a street corner to heaving large luggage along Session Road. Through a series of embarrassing but endearing events they eventually learn more about each other spurring them to go on an instant trip to Baguio and Sagada to find escape, release and consolation for their romantic miseries. In the process, they found hope for a new love and a new beginning with each other.

The movie started really strong. With the way Angelica’s character, Mace, was throwing away clothes (and even thongs) to fit the baggage allowance on her way back to Manila from Italy, you’d expect more funny scenes and kilig moments just like how JM’s character, Anthony, saved her in that dilemma. The palpable chemistry between the two makes for an engaging and pleasant watch. The two characters were well defined at the beginning– their language, their decisions, etc.

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Antoinette Jadaone’s That Thing Called Tadhana has a small scope, having only two characters and a story that relates to something deeper and more poignant, resisting the kilig factor common to romance films. What’s remarkable about this movie is its simplicity. The movie was mostly just about the two of them – talking, walking, eating, singing, etc. But the lack of actors does not equate to lack of depth. Since it is just the two of them in 95% of the scenes,  you’ll expect that the story will find a way to add some twist. The story also inserted the narrative of the Arrow Pierced with a Heart, which somewhat gave a break on listening to the two characters talk about their past and hopes for the future.

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It is a movie uses the first encounter concept, similar to Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise, which made the film a thoroughly pleasant experience. It is the best Filipino version of Richard Linklater’s “Before” trilogy with a little inspiration from E. E. Cummings’ poem, “I Carry Your Heart With Me”. It was effortlessly romantic despite the absence of any kissing scene; funny without trying to be. Through excellent scriptwriting and realistic portrayals they were able to illustrate the painful, torturous and excruciating walk one goes through after a betrayal and  they were able to capture it down to the last detail. The past is the villain so conversations were prevalent, but it was never a bore especially because they convey the ones that always hits home.

The movie provided a stirring start and with an even more provoking ending. It tells a story that even how dark, cold and tedious your night was, the sun always rises again — beautiful as the glorious Sagada Sunrise—to usher in a new day for your renewed heart ready to make and fight for your destiny.

It’s rare for a movie to simultaneously make you laugh and cry at the same time. That Thing Called Tadhana does it effortlessly, that I walked out of the cinema with a ridiculous grin on my face and overflowing emotion in my heart. In under two hours, Angelica Panganiban and JM de Guzman had me enthralled.

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The movie appealed to the emotions of the viewers as the characterization of our leads seem to be based on real life events, too real that 4 out 5 of those who’ve watched can claim that it’s their story they were watching. It takes ordinary life situations and turns them into a little gem of a movie. It shows that a character-driven plot and well-written dialogue are enough to make for a great story. The compelling storytelling makes the hour and a half movie feels longer, but in a good way. There’s no unnecessary side characters, no filler scenes, no nuances often common in romantic comedies.

Tadhana avoids being predictable. Just when you think they’re about to kiss, the movie takes on a different route. Just when you think you know what’s going to happen next (because it’s what happens in every freakin’ Filipino RomCom!), they turn the other way. They take every Filipino RomCom tropes, then dissect and disassemble them into something fresh, yet familiar.

I found myself squirming with glee in my seat in almost every scene. It may not be a love story in the strictest sense of the concept, but there’s no point in denying that JM and Angelica look great together. Be it in the petty bickering or the intense gaze between the two, it’s easy to like the two, together or as individuals. While Angelica ravishes in her hysterical crying and witty line delivery, JM charms with his controlled tears and quiet gazes.

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Honestly,  this is my first time to watched an indie film so I’m not sure if I’m writing this review right. Anyway, I have watched only this film from the line-up of Cinema One Originals this year. I am glad That Thing Called Tadhana is one of them. The movie isn’t perfect, and there are lapses I am willing to overlook. The gentle moments and silent understanding between Mace and Anthony more than make up for it. They didn’t answer all the hanging questions on love, but they didn’t really need to. Also, what is admirable about the film is how it showcased Baguio and Sagada, you’ll actually invite your company, or probably your partner who is best watching this with you, to go to Baguio. The sea of clouds was fantastic and it would be great if the cinematography managed to capture the clouds while Mace releases her anguish over them. The movie shows what traveling can do to broken hearted folks and how it can develop two people together.

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That Thing Called Tadhana is a meet-cute type of movie, but with more realistic insights on how love affects us mere mortals. In its raw and unpolished takes it succeeds in making us not just see a character but rather a part of ourselves in the film.No heart is hard enough not be swayed or melted with a love so true that it consumes you whole. Mace and Anthony aren’t just movie characters—they’re your friend, officemate, classmate, sister, brother, neighbor, and heck, even you.

Unlike most indies, this one had wide mainstream audience appeal; which definitely a good step forward for Philippine Cinema. The story is completely relatable and brought to life with pithy witty words and delightful disarming performances. I think I want a sequel

Here are some #HUGOT lines from the movie that most, if not all, can relate to.

  1. “Para sa mga umibig, nasaktan, ngunit umibig pa rin. You know, tatanga-tanga.” At the beginning of the film, this lines appeared, which brings some truth in them. This suggests that the film is dedicated and made for those loved and lost, but chose to love again.
  1. Kung mahal mo, habulin mo, ipaglaban mo. Wag mong hintaying may magtulak sa kanya pabalik sa’yo. Hilahin mo. Hanggang kaya mo, wag kang bibitaw.” If you love someone, set them free, right? And if they come back, their yours? No, no. Mace believes that if you love someone, you run after them and fight for them. You don’t wait for destiny to push them back towards you. You pull them hard as long as you can.
  1. “Alam mo ‘yung sinabi ni F. Scott Fitzgerald? There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.” You will surely see this quote in a different light after watching this film.
  1. “Kasi ‘yung ganyang kalaking pagmamahal, ganyang overwhelming love, imposibleng walang pupuntahan eh. May mababalik sayong pagmamahal. Not necessarily sa taong pinagbigyan mo, pero sigurado ako, mababalik ‘yan sa’yo.” No matter how hard or how long it takes, chances are, you can always recover from a heartbreak. As Anthony said, it’s impossible for an overwhelming love to go to nowhere. That love will always come back to you. It may not necessarily come from the person whom you gave love to, but love will definitely be reciprocated.
  1. “Pano ba makalimot?”“Pwede kang uminom gabi gabi, pwede kang umiyak gabi gabi, pwede kang makipagdate kung kani-kanino, o pwede ka ring makahanap ng new love.” There are many ways to mend a broken heart. You can drown yourself with beer, you can cry every night, you can go out and meet other people, or you can find a new love.

For you guys, who haven’t see the film..here’s the trailer and the OST the film.

 Enjoy, and feel free to let me know if you enjoyed the movie! Happy love month!

 Disclaimer: All photos were from That Thing Called Tadhana’s Facebook Page.

Poetry #6 – Of Love [or Pain (or Happiness)]

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The principle is: the brain decides if it is pain or pleasure.

One trusts what is initially felt,

as if nothing could have endangered happiness;

or as if one cannot see through the cracks.

Maybe, just maybe: It was Nobody’s fault.

Nobody ever thought that maybe what was wrong was the timing,

and nothing else.

The ill-fated brain becomes a fool

If everything goes right,

because although happiness is sometimes quite elusive,

one can always fumble towards it.

And the brain, quite left out,

will never believe that in truth, the principle is:

the heart decides if it is real.

Two Thousand and Fourteen

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Another year is about to end. Wow. 12 months surely passed by so quickly. I won’t be calling this a thank you and a sorry blog anymore, just to make things a little different and since many such fine memories happened this year.

For me, it’s been a mix of earthquakes and rainbows. The year began very silent and a bit emotional but it was also a crazy, busy few months that made time go faster than expected. 2014 has been a roller coaster ride: stepping out from our comfort zones, learning to appreciate other people, accepting flaws and finding beauty in it, charging things to experience and gaining wisdom from it.

Since I am set out to the real world, I learned so many things, learned how to appreciate the little things, and realize that no act is too small. 2014 taught us a lot of things, introduced us  to a lot of people, opened our minds to innovations, and helped us accept and love the people around us. Indeed, Adventure is out there, and out there I go, and these are the most important things that I have learned so far:

Hard work pays off. Sometimes, it’s not always the brains and the charms that work their wonders, hard work still prevails among other things. You should learn how to focus on your goal and keep pushing and keep trying until you get it.

Responsibilities are harder when you get older. I don’t know about other people my age, but my responsibilities somehow got heavier than before. I felt like, there’s no space for screwing up and you have to carefully think of your decisions before it’s too late.

People pleasers don’t always have it good. I must admit that I used to be one because I thought that things would be better that way, but no. You will be more respected as a person who follows his/her own beliefs than a person without their own stand in life.

Learn to be contented in life. That sometimes enough is just what we need.

Continue to be positive. There have been a lot of people who noticed how a happy person I am and it felt great. What’s even better is that, my positivity can be contagious which made me a little proud of myself since I’ve always wanted to be THAT PERSON, a person that brings joy to everyone.

Goodbyes. A few people dear to me had to leave to start their new journey. Sad, but parting is inevitable sometimes and you just have to be happy for them.

Hellos. “If someone goes, someone new comes along.” New people came into my life and for that I am more than thankful. Some of them became friends, a few beaus and some old acquaintance eventually became good friends.

Today is a New Year. A start of a journey for some, the end for others or for those walking a long path, it’s just another day. No matter what point we are in right now, this is the time to remember all the good and the bad for the past 364 days. It’s been a fun, wild ride but surely something to be thankful for. For all the blessings that we have received, for the family and friends that we still have, for the love that we still share, for the laughter and tears that we can still give. Most of all, for another chance that we get to breathe again and make a difference in this world.

Forget all the sorrow and pain of the past year and embrace all the good things that happened to us. If not for trials we are not as strong as we are now, and if not for the optimism and hope, we are not where we are now.

Welcome 2015 with a bang, with a thankful heart and a vision of a blessed future. Let go and let God. Wake up each morning feeling brand new and encouraged to do something worthwhile. Do not be afraid to fail but be courageous enough to stand up and try again. Do not hesitate to fall in love for even with uncertainty, love is always beautiful. Laugh hard, cry hard. Walk with your head held high but with your feet kept in the ground. Be motivated and accept the challenges that life will offer. Dream big and believe in yourself. Never fear change for it will help you grow.

This 2015, as we continue to seek for adventures, may we also remember to thank Him for everything He has done for us. Not everyone is lucky enough to survive this catastrophic year, and for those of us who did: may we continue to seek for beauty and spread the love.

May everyone have a happy, blessed, and wonderful year ahead. This chapter may be blank for now, but let us all grab our pens and construct wonderful memories once again. Good luck, and God bless.

Bonne année à tous!! :)

This Is The Anatomy Of An Anxious Girl

Date A Man Who Loves You More

Happiness Is A Choice

Thought Catalog

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It’s the end-goal of everything we do. It’s why we pray, get married, go to college, slave through tiresome days at the office, endure heartache, buy into fads, and move through (the sometimes unbearable) woes of everyday life…  and more importantly, it’s why we care so damn much about it all. It’s why we are so hurt when our lives don’t become what we had hoped they would be. Its happiness, and it’s at the root of everything we desire. But what we seem to overlook is that happiness is not an elusive state of euphoria that we eventually stumble upon once all of our goals are fulfilled. Happiness is a choice, and you are just as capable of experiencing it now as you will be once your life looks as you think it ideally should.

Yes. Happiness is a choice. And you can choose it right now

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