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My lovely boyfriend and I celebrated our first anniversary. Today is one of the best days in my life. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY! I’m proud to say that we have made it already this far. Because staying in a long distance relationship is very hard for sure.

It seems so unreal. Knowing that I’m still together with someone who’s not with me for months, physically. 1 year. 1 year I’ve been praying for peace of heart and strength. It’s not easy, it’s still not easy. It’s not easy when the one you love has to be far away from you and it’s not easy when you see other people have all the time in the world to be physically close to their loved ones. When I think about it deeply, I realize that my relationship is composed of messaging and 30 minutes to 1 hour video call. That’s what I have. It’s more of dates over FB Messenger, chatting with him and making kissy and huggy noises over a phone call when we both say goodnight to each other. It’s not exactly the ideal relationship someone wants, but that’s what I have.

Distance isn’t meant for everyone. It’s not easy and a lot of people give up. I’ve also heard so many times that it can break a relationship more than it can make it. Not a lot of people believe that it can work and not a lot of people would be willing to take this risk. But for those who experience the latter, they know what strength is, they have a great understanding of patience and a deep value for time. It’s not just about the distance, it’s also going to be about the time difference, the need for internet connection to communicate (cause I’m pretty sure international text is going to be a killer) and our patience for and with each other.
4e16319f4126cc498d0316b73743e8d5 It doesn’t stop me from believing that this can be different. I guess at the end of everything, I don’t really see the distance, because all I see is the other person at the end of all the kilometers and miles that separate me from him and to know that I still have a clear vision of him at the end of everything, it makes me want to do whatever it takes and whatever I can to go through with this.

So I’ve been with John for one year already and we’ve experience being apart for several months. It hasn’t been easy, and I can’t stress that enough.

But, this is the choice I make to love him every day. To pick up the phone and message him good morning or good night. To remember that he’s the first one I can still call when things go bad, when things go good. To ask him how his day went. To see his face and laugh with him. That part of the relationship is actually pretty easy, keeping him in my life.

Not easy is seeing couples hold hands and knowing I can’t have that. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week, not when things go good or when things go bad. I have to wait and be patient until the next time that I can hold his hand, which is the next time that we see each other, it makes it all the more meaningful the next time. You don’t know what it’s like to go through the joy of seeing him and dreading the start of the countdown. Day 1, and the next day inches closer to the day you have to let him go again.

Most times the situation challenges you to your limits and makes you want to give up. It makes you ask so many questions like why do I have to wait for someone like this, am I ever going to be with this person, how long is it gonna take before we really end up.

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Fortunately, my luck falls on John and the kind of man that he is. If he wasn’t the one I was going through this hell-hole with, I wouldn’t have made it to 1 year of long distance. BUT (yeah, big but), I’m happy and it’s been worth it. He’s been worth it. Especially when you see that through all your weaknesses and failures, his love still preserves and he always chooses to see the best in me when I forget to see myself that way.

We’ve been realistic. We know that there’s still a lot that can happen to us, especially since we still have our lives ahead of us. A lot of things have changed through the course of our relationship. We’re not rushing into anything, to be honest. We both know that right now we love each other a lot to keep ourselves committed to one another, but we will not, in any way, sacrifice the dreams that we want for ourselves.

So we’ve actually been good at this. We’re both balancing out ourselves and the relationship and we give each other time to breathe and do our own things, live our own lives while we’re both away from each other. Most importantly, we support each other grow on our own and discover new things and abilities without the other, as well as discover new things we want and new things that could be in store for us. We never pull the other down; we both know that we plan to be together, just not now. Right now we have ourselves. Right now we have months of being independent and we want to maximize that for ourselves before entering into a really serious commitment (which is marriage duh #letsberealhere). We’re both really happy. We’re not holding each other back or denying ourselves the little bubble of happiness we get from our relationship too and that’s been the best part and that’s why it’s all been worth it.

I have to get by September, October, November, December and only God knows how many more months in 2017 till I can see him again. But I guess no matter what happens in our relationship we’d both love to see each other again and again and we both know that we’ll always love each other.

And we both trust in that.  I just hope that, that will be enough to keep us together.

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So, right now, I want to thank my boyfriend, John for never failing to make me feel like a princess every single day even though we’re thousand miles apart. You’re the most dependable, most protective, and most caring guy. In spite of my nonchalance and occasional air of ungratefulness, please know that I appreciate all this, that I appreciate all of you and that I wouldn’t have it any other way with anybody else. I’ll always stick around with you. For 1 year we shared a lot of great memories together and I will forever cherish them. Cheers to more adventure, more crazy and unforgettable moments together. I wish I could spend our day with you.

So love and enjoy the distance that you have instead of complaining about it more than you appreciate it because the more you complain, the more it causes disdain. And stress and pity-partying and just everything else that could break a perfectly good relationship. Be more appreciative and forgiving and everything will be alright!

I’ll see you soon baby. I love you and miss you always!!

I collect moments, not things.

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Life is about spending time tinkering your favorite old toy, reading a good book and crying about it, listening to your playlist, successful / failed surprises, whole-heartedly appreciating anybody who’s brave enough to show you simple act of kindness, sitting on a passenger seat singing songs on the radio out loud with someone you love, passionate kisses, long tight embraces and a whole lot little moments.

I figured you have to immerse yourself with anything that will make your heart happy, no matter how simple it is. Life’s a lot more meaningful by letting yourself go and feel what’s there.

Date A Man Who Loves You More

Happiness Is A Choice

Thought Catalog

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It’s the end-goal of everything we do. It’s why we pray, get married, go to college, slave through tiresome days at the office, endure heartache, buy into fads, and move through (the sometimes unbearable) woes of everyday life…  and more importantly, it’s why we care so damn much about it all. It’s why we are so hurt when our lives don’t become what we had hoped they would be. Its happiness, and it’s at the root of everything we desire. But what we seem to overlook is that happiness is not an elusive state of euphoria that we eventually stumble upon once all of our goals are fulfilled. Happiness is a choice, and you are just as capable of experiencing it now as you will be once your life looks as you think it ideally should.

Yes. Happiness is a choice. And you can choose it right now

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For the uncool, wallflowers, and invisible girls

An Ode To All The Late Bloomers: The Women Who Didn’t Peak In High School

Read this very, very nice article, young ladies.

Yeah, high school isn’t really my time too. I’d rather sit on the corner unnoticed than being openly out there, I was a dork. But, you don’t force a bud to bloom. So if you’re uncool, that’s cool. :)

Happiness Won’t Look How You Expected

Thought Catalog

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Rewind two years or so: I’m an anxious high school senior dreaming about college. Parties, new friends, classes with boys(all girls high school), the – wait for it – best four years of my life. I knew I would meet a ton of new people and I thought we would spend four years frolicking around campus without a care in the world. I pictured constant happiness. Several weeks into my junior year, I can confidently say that there has been more than enough partying, friends, and loving life. I would not trade the past two years or the people I have met here for anything. But what I did not expect was the moments of darkness in between all the bliss. I don’t talk about it often, but depression and anxiety gradually became a larger and more controlling aspect of my life when I got to college…

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12 Days That Will Unknowingly Change You Forever

Thought Catalog

1. One day, while you’re running on auto-pilot through your daily routine, worrying about whatever it is you deem worthy of concern, questioning the past and considering the future, evaluating yourself with judgment for every way you haven’t lived up to your ideals for the day, a striking thought will cross you. The future is today. This is the life you’ve spent years planning out and waiting for, but you’re not the person you pictured would be living it. It’s in this moment that people make a decision that defines the rest of their lives. They either sit in the remnants of who they could be or they realize that the only person they can accomplish being is who they are on that imperfect, ordinary day. The people who live the happiest lives are the latter.

2. The day you meet your first, not-out-of-convenience, real friend. I’m not talking about…

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18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

Thought Catalog

This… this is my soul song, people. This is my Vietnam.

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social.

2. At any given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that.

3. Social gatherings that are supposed to be “rites of passage” like prom and dances and other such typical nonsense is just… not for you. You don’t understand it. You want nothing to do with it.

4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.

5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.

6. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it…

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Date The Girl Who Waits

I saw this article retweeted by my friend and just want to share this with you. Exact feels and I can’t agree less. :) All the reasons why I value timing and having a life of my own. :)

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Date the girl who waits. She knows good things are worth waiting for. Find her not on Tinder, Ok Cupid or Skout. She’s too busy living life to be filtering good lookers online or chatting up strangers behind a screen. Instead, find her smiling to herself as she browses through books in an indie book store. Find her laughing heartily in a group of friends at a cafe in town.

The girl who waits is one moment the sweet girl next door, and the next moment, the life of a party.

It’s easy to spot the girl who waits. Oblivious to her surroundings, she charms those around her with her confidence and her bubbly personality. You know you’ve found the girl who waits when you see a girl happy just being herself. When you see her, start a conversation and make her laugh. You can be certain it’s her if she infects you with joy without even trying.

The girl who waits doesn’t worry or envy when she sees her friends happily in love. Because deep down she knows it’s a matter of time before she gets her turn.

She’s confident enough to not to settle with just anyone, because the girl who waits is the girl who loves not when she’s lonely. The girl who waits, understands the difference between being alone and being lonely.

Ask her out on a date. Know she’ll refuse because chances are, she’s got plans of her own. But don’t stop trying, because when she finally opens up to you, you will realize that the wait was worth the while.

Date the girl who waits. She’ll never take you for granted. After months or even years of holding out for the right guy, appreciation and commitment come naturally. She won’t back out of the relationship after years of dating, citing reasons of uncertainty of whether you’re the one, because you know she has done everything she has needed to as a singleton and she has met sufficient guys to know you’re the one she wants to be with. She’ll be thankful for every moment with you because the activities she once had to do alone, she now has you as company.

Take her out on a date. You’ll experience appreciation and desire when she naturally reaches out for your hand. Date the girl who waits, because when she finally entrusts you with her heart, you know she’s true to you.

Fall in love with the girl who waits. She has gone through sufficient heartbreaks to know how to love. She understands the delicate balance of personal space and couple time. Having been a swinging bachelorette, you can be certain that she has a life of her own. She won’t be clingy and neither will she stop you from hanging with the boys. She’ll be the best friend who taunts you to make your soccer watching experience fun but she’ll also be the sweet girl who’ll cuddle you at home on a rainy day.

The girl who waits would have a life of her own. She’ll tell you about her backpack adventures. She’ll take you to her favorite hideouts. She’ll strum you a song on her guitar and watch her favorite movies snuggling up with you. She’ll take you to meet her friends. She’ll hold your hand and take you on new escapades.

Date the girl who waits, because she is the girl who knows what she’s looking for. If she chooses to be with you, you can be definite it wasn’t because of convenience or loneliness.  Treasure the girl who waits, because she, who doesn’t settle despite it all, is the girl who will love you for you.

Love the girl who waits. She’s confident and happy by herself, but chooses to let you in despite knowing you could very well hurt her. If she forsakes her freedom for you, keep her. If she can love you without any baggage from her previous heartbreaks and failed relationships, don’t just love her back.  Love her, and even more.

Maybe you’ve met her, maybe you haven’t. But when you finally do, don’t let her go.

Credits HERE.