This is how you lose her

This is how you lose her. 

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You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets.

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget.

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the  beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her.

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.

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DISCLAIMER: Excerpt from Junot Diaz, This is How You Lose Her.

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I collect moments, not things.

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Life is about spending time tinkering your favorite old toy, reading a good book and crying about it, listening to your playlist, successful / failed surprises, whole-heartedly appreciating anybody who’s brave enough to show you simple act of kindness, sitting on a passenger seat singing songs on the radio out loud with someone you love, passionate kisses, long tight embraces and a whole lot little moments.

I figured you have to immerse yourself with anything that will make your heart happy, no matter how simple it is. Life’s a lot more meaningful by letting yourself go and feel what’s there.

Long Distance Love

Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Nobody says it is going to be easy – that extra distance that makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times. I’m not going to lie to you; long distance relationships are probably the toughest kind of relationships, the ones that actually require you to give in every single thing you’ve got, the ones that can turn you into the one of the most frustrated people on the planet, and the ones that can actually make you start questioning and begin to understand why you ever agreed to put yourself through this. The endless struggle of not seeing each other, making late night phone calls and keeping the fire alive is all too real. But, there’s no denying that as challenging as it is or was, living apart from one another only brought you and your significant other closer together.

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I, like many other happy people on this earth, have found myself in a long distance relationship and while it might be difficult, it’s working out just fine for my boyfriend and I.  For the first six months of my current relationship, I had been living between eleven to fourteen hours away from my boyfriend. We had known of each other for several months until last September, both of us decided to level up our friendship and continues on a more serious relationship; however, I never experienced a serious long distance relationship beforehand.

It completely changed when my boyfriend made serious career changes and decided to work on a cruise ship line which means he’ll be thousand miles away from me travelling from one country to another. Because I don’t want to be a hindrance for his dream and I want him to be happy. I supported him in whatever dream/s he has. I also understand that if we both have our time apart to achieve some of our goals, then we can have a future where we achieve the rest together

Just like any other long distance relationship plays out, we struggled, grew and learned to love in our particular way. It was difficult but we were committed to make things work out. It’s very challenging and being in this kind of relationship has changed me a lot. You both need to adjust with each other time and schedule. It’s hard but I know it will be worth it. Being in a long distance relationship is never easy. You need to deal with the distance, time difference, the loneliness, and even jealousy of the people who get to see your significant other. Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its own surprises too.

My boyfriend and I are in such relationship and so far, we’re getting the hang of it. But sometimes, no, every single day I just can’t help to miss him. It’s hard being away from the one you love. Only people who spend their days missing another person like we do truly understand how hard it is to see someone so important to you on a screen and only on a screen. And even more annoying, every time your data is crappy or your wifi cuts out, your connection is lost or you’re left reconnecting for minutes on end. It’s absolutely infuriating.

When time difference is such real bitch, whether it’s an hour or 12, being on another time zone is a constant struggle. When you’re waking up, he’s half-finished with his day. He’s headed to bed long before you’re even thinking about clocking out for the night. I know it isn’t the end of the world and it can be managed with a little compromise between you two.

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There are times you’ll worry for no reason about stupid things. That’s the thing about distance; it can make you a bit paranoid. I don’t even know where to start on this one. I’m sure other women out there understand what I’m trying to say. Let’s just say that when you’re thousand miles away, TRUST and UNDERSTANDING is a big deal. Without those two things, your relationship will fail. I promise you that. Now, I know you might be getting a bit worked up. But you don’t have to mistrust him while thinking of horrible scenarios in your head. For me anyway, I know that any awful thing that crawls into my mind isn’t true. It also helps when you know what they’re doing and who they’re with. It leaves less blanks for your mind to fill in. It requires a lot of understanding. Understanding that his day change and our schedules are different. And that’s okay. All you have to do is understand that things get busy, and that you talk when you can. However, if you believe in your heart that the person your with loves you as much as you love them, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If you trust one another, you’ll come away from your time apart a stronger couple.

I learned to adjust with my boyfriend’s schedule. I’m getting the hang of talking to him more or less one hour everyday or I say whenever his schedule is not that hectic. Even though sometimes I feel bad I wasn’t able to talk to him or see him, I can’t complain about it. The most I can do is to wait for him to be online and sit from across a screen just to look at each other faces and talk to each other as much time as we possibly can. Just being in different time zones makes scheduling much harder than it needs to be. You have to sacrifice sleep and learn how to make time and prioritize your significant other.

Yes, the waiting can be painful. It sure as hell it isn’t a Hollywood romance. Sometimes you feel like giving up, but you chose to keep going. You need to remind yourself that the results at the end will be sweet as heaven. I see every second, every minutes of our conversation as a blessing. No matter how short the time we have talking to each other. I love him and I hope this waiting, this long distance relationship will be worth it. The little things he does for me are the big things. Getting an “I love you”, “I miss you” and such a simple “Good morning” and “Good night” text in the middle of the day or when you wake up feels like getting flowers from him. It’s pleasant to know that you’re the first and last thing on your boyfriends’ mind. You appreciate the littlest things so much that the bigger things feel even better.

But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, when all your heart and soul has been put into this one part of your life, you will know and be proud of the fact that your relationship has come out a lot stronger and has become more resilient than an average relationship could ever be. With God in the center of our relationship, I know everything will be fine in the end. I’m just excited to see my love, to kiss and to hug him tight.

Are you in the beginning, the middle or end of a long distance relationship? Be strong and take heart!! Here’s to us and a love that survives even the longest bouts of separation. If you’re in a committed relationship and serious about your significant other, the time spent apart will seem short in the long run. It takes time to grow together but you’ll find that distance, no matter how painful, truly makes the heart grow fonder.

Chew on this: The crib that’ll make you crave: AMO YAMIE CRIB

Fed up of your usual cafe spot? Wanted to try something new? Here’s a quick tour for you to my newly discovered cafe. Located at the heart of the University Belt, Amo Yamie Crib is the now being frequently visited place by students and barkadas.

One word for Amo Yamie? Everything in this place is Instagram – worthy! For those Instagram – lovers out there (like me!) who loves taking pictures of good food and good places, I have finally found the perfect place for you!

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When we’re already arrived in the place, we waited for at least 30 minutes because there’s still no vacant place. For first timers, this is the room where you have to enter to get table reservations. Place is full of students/ group of friends who actually spend a lot of time occupying the cribs, so making a reservation is recommended. Then when we already got the chance to enter the cafe, we liked the ambiance, their wooden designs and their other fancy decors that made the place cozy and feel like you’re at home.

From the cafe’s name, this coffee house indeed has a cribs inside! Yes! You heard that right. You can watch rent DVDs here and watch movies while sipping your coffee, and eating there specialty. The cribs look like a playhouse where you can do whatever you want like indian sit or even lie down. Each spot looks like a room which has a center table and pillows. I really love the theme of this coffee shop because it is very colorful and very festive.

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While most of the mainstream and well known cafes serve their blended drinks, fruit teas and other drinks using plastic cups or styro cups, Amo uses the seemingly being in the trend nowadays, mason jars. I find it very cute. It adds up to the entire feeling of being at home.

As if the fancy interiors weren’t enough; their food joins the vibe, too. From their creative names to their fancy presentation, a lot of “wows” and “OMGs” might have been blurted out, and bountiful Instagram-worthy photos were captured, as well.

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Their menu range from fun coffee and frappe concoctions, to sweet milk tea drinks. They also serve waffles, cakes served on pots, mini burgers, tacos, and other snacks to fill you up.

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Lots of choices are part of the menu, from hot or iced coffees, fairy tale frappes and frosts, cartoon characters named milk teas down to fruit teas. And yes, the list of drinks will make it hard for you to decide. But thanks to the magical named drink – Wizard of Oreos, at first glance, it  won my heart , which is a cookies and cream frappuccino topped with whipped cream and of course oreos. And, my best friend orders the  Snow White Vanilla Fairy tale frost, which is basically comprised of nuts and a crispy waffle on top. Each drink really serves true to its name. You can taste the presence of the ingredients individually, but more importantly, they jive well altogether.

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If you’re looking for a coffee house that has a twist like a fairytale concept at an affordable price, Amo Yamie is the right place for you! Their beverages and food is just ordinary but it will surely meet your taste and preferences and the money you will be paying would be worth it.

Location: AYC – UBelt is now open, located at 2nd floor, Gordi Plaza Bldg, Legarda St. Same as Bon Chon’s building, across Mendiola.

Book Review: Love and Misadventure by Lang Leav

18003300SUMMARY from GoodReads:

Lang Leav is a poet and internationally exhibiting artist. Awarded a coveted Churchill Fellowship, her work expresses the intricacies of love and loss.

Beautifully illustrated and thoughtfully conceived, Love and Misadventure will take you on a rollercoaster ride through an ill-fated love affair- from the initial butterflies to the soaring heights- through to the devastating plunge. Lang Leav has an unnerving ability to see inside the hearts and minds of her readers. Her talent for translating complex emotions with astonishing simplicity has won her a cult following of devoted fans from all over the world.

REVIEW:

I’m not really an avid reader of poetry and my expertise in the genre is minimal at best. However, I do appreciate well-written poems that I read every now and then. I remember that the first poem that I really liked, that had a profound effect on me, was Sylvia Plath’s I am Vertical which I read back in college.  Since then, for brief spurts of time, I read poetry whenever the inspiration to do so strikes. In this regard, I think I now have a handle on appreciating poetry.

If you are familiar with Instagram and Tumblr, then you have most likely come across this book or pictures of the poems. It has taken social network sites by storm and the hype of the book is undeniable but is it really worth it? Enter Lang Leav’s Love and Misadventures. Admittedly, I was intrigued by its hype and, therefore, decided to read it since it was short and also because I was curious as to why a lot of people were raving about it. Surely, a lot of people can’t be wrong all at the same time and that Leav’s poetry would merit such a magnitude of fame. So, this evening with nothing better to do, I plunged in and finished it in one sitting.

When sifting through this book, I had mixed emotions. I believe that love is one of the most complex and the illogical thing in the world. Authors and poets spend a ample amount of time trying to unravel it. At first sight, one may mistake this as a collection of love poems. But for me it reads as the internal ebbs and flows of a person throughout many different kinds of relationships; from unrequited love to crushes, to the end of love and moving on. The beauty of Leav’s collection is that I don’t feel the need to uncover the details of these stories. The feelings evoked are enough.

There are three parts to the book: Misadventure, A Circus of Sorrows, and Love.  Most of the poems are quite short, but I didn’t mind that. Sometimes it’s nice to just relax and read short poems that don’t require much analyzing – this was a massive perk to this book. The poems don’t try to have hidden meanings. They are about pure and hard love, as well as pain, which is touched upon in The Circus of Sorrows.

There is something in her words; a kind of warmth that makes her poems stand out. It’s like she can read our minds and transform our thoughts into beautiful poems. Here are some of my personal favourites from the book:

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Highly recommended for people who needed inspiration for love stories or for those who just wanted a light read. :) It’s the book that becomes your diary and your best friend. I can’t wait for the sequel –Lullabies.

Learn more about Lang Leav visit her official blog.

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Life is being such a tease right now. On some days, its really good and on others it leaves me confused. I’m just thankful that there are still days, that I can slow down, and say thank you, because despite of so many things going on, I am slowly finding my way out of the slump I am in.

Chew on this: Mann Hann

“Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it in your mouth – Albert Ellis”

When I visit restaurants the first thing that definitely attracts me or caught my attention is the interior or surrounding and Mann Hann surely gave me the Asian and warm vibe. There’s never a lousy day if capped with a sumptuous dine at a good restaurant! There are restaurants you love going back to. And this is one of those. Mann Hann is one restaurant we enjoy revisiting over and over. We almost have a readied set menu of our favorite dishes we have grown to love thru the years. And it never fails to fill our tummies with delight every time.

So why the name Mann Hann? I did a bit of research about the name of Mann Hann and came across this amusing back story on their weird site:

Mann Hann was derived from an ancient Chinese legend that the owners love to tell their children. The romance involved Mann or Manchurian and a descendant from an old Han Dynasty and how the emperor’s opulence showed when entertaining foreign dignitaries by ordering “Mann Hann” Menu which consist of 200 delectable varieties. These feasts usually took them weeks to consume. Nobody knows for sure how the story ended but somehow synonymous with authentic Chinese Cuisine.

What a heritage, huh? Haha.

It was another lunch together with my friends Jen and Zackie and I just love it! It’s always nice dining with close friends, bonding and sharing stories together. We decided to take a lunch out at Mann Hann located at the Basement Bldg. A of SM Megamall. Upon arriving at the restaurant, we were asked on how many are we. When the guard found out that we were just three, we were asked if it’s okay with us to seat at Mannang, which I believe is a substore of Mann Hann. But since we don’t agree they make a way to find us seat in Mann Hann. It was proven when we looked at the menu; there was Mann Hann on the front, and Mannang on the back. Mannang specializes in Filipino cuisine while Mann Hann offers Chinese food.

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Mann Hann and Mannang are sister companies. Because these two restaurants are located next to each other, you can order Mann Hann dishes while you’re seated inside Mannang, and you can order Mannang dishes while you’re at Mann Hann.

Mann Hann definitely didn’t disappoint. Their foods were good, prices were definitely affordable & reasonable and ambiance was just perfect.  The food ranges from P200 to P400 and all is good for 2 to 3 persons. You will definitely enjoy the dining experience especially when coupled with the restaurant’s great service. Here’s the menu so that you can see the prices of the food:

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There’s real stiff competition out there though when it comes to the restaurants at the Mega Atrium. The whole atrium is basically surrounded by restaurants. When you walk around the area, you have representatives from different establishments trying to convince you to dine at their place. The owners don’t have to worry about this though, first time visitors is one thing but returning visitors is definitely another thing, a more important one. Does this restaurant have what it takes for customers to go back? Yes, definitely!  Well, especially if you are a Chinese-Filipino food fan.

We ordered nothing from the Mannang menu since it’s the typical food we eat. What we got from the Mann Hann menu are:

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Yang Chow Fried Rice (Php280). What are all these dishes without some good fried rice? A no-rice diet or even plain rice just won’t cut it for your standard Chinese dinner. This fried rice is pretty regular as far as good fried rice goes. An ever reliable choice.

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Sweet & Sour Spareribs (Php260) was good food and the sauce was rich and flavorful. Just enough for our taste buds.

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Spicy Squid (Php270), not-so-spicy, this one is also a must-try. Tender slices of fried squid with bagoong & calamansi dip which makes it taste more flavorful.

We just had service water for our drinks and of course, since it’s a Chinese restaurant, they serve unlimited house tea. The service is so fast. The food arrived fresh, tasty and still hot, hot, hot in just 15 minutes which I can say is really accurate.

Our food, in my opinion, was superb. I was craving for Chinese food, so maybe that’s why I enjoyed our lunch. I can taste the authenticity of the dishes and how crisp and tender the meat were. Mann Hann definitely has value for money. It cost us less than a thousand for our lunch. We left the restaurant full and our pockets intact.

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Mann Hann lives true to its name of carrying good classic Chinese dishes. Well, I don’t think this is what the Dynasty Warriors were eating, but it’s been around since my childhood so its classic enough for me!

Too many good restaurants to try out these days which is why I always make it a point to at least try out new restaurants every so often. Honestly, you can really find some nice and wonderful gems out there in the big sea of restaurants. Mann Hann is definitely one of them. Glad we tried it. So, if you haven’t tried it out yet, maybe you should try it out today.

Have you eaten at Mann Hann? I believe we have the same experience! :)

MANN HANN
Basement, SM Megamall, Bldg. A EDSA corner Julia Vargas Ave., Mandaluyong Metro Manila, Philippines
Budget: Php 200 – Php 500

Clandestine world

“There’s a moment, there’s always a moment, ‘I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it’, and I don’t know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.”

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Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people in the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them, they’ve got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.

It’s too easy for me to blame other people or external circumstances for how I behave, but the obvious truth is that I am always in control of it. Someday, I’m going to collect stories of interesting strangers that I might meet as I go through this journey called life. I believe good things happen every day. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe, on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. That’s life, isn’t it?

Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it’s time. Stop taking things for granted. Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you know what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Share something wonderful. Meet new people. Make someone’s day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to its full potential. Just live. Let go of all the horrible things in your life and just live.

Who we are is made up of moments like that.

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There are times when you want to go back to the days when you’re still a kid, sobbing because of toys, getting scolded, not being allowed to play outside, or not being given what you want. No worries care less.

When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes, you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being so fun and start being scary?

Nobody cares. Nobody’s sorry for you. Nobody comforting you. Nobody’s there for you. You are like an invisible statue sitting in one corner. You would wish to not care. To not pity. To not love. To not help. To be bad. What good can you get when you’re like that? At least you won’t feel any pain. You won’t feel happiness but you won’t feel sadness too. To be a heartless stone. It’s like turning off all the feelings.

There are times when you feel so much pain and so down. You feel unloved. You feel unimportant. You feel ignored. You feel like a trash that was thrown from other side. You wanna cry but tears aren’t coming out. Emotions are pouring but you don’t know how to let it out. You want to shout so damn loud but your voice is stuck in your throat. Everything is in your chest and it’s making you feel like you’ll be having a mini heart attack or angina anytime. You wanna sleep coz’ your eyes are drooping but every time you close your eyes, a puzzle of thoughts pops up on nowhere.

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There comes a point in your life, when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever grow up? No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are forever stumbling…forever wondering, forever…young.

Nobody ever gave a manual or a study guide of some sort about life, so that we’re able to determine what steps to follow, which road to take. The break is about to end and I still don’t have the answers. Time to think! You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.

Downfall

As it grew dark and the world around fell to slumber I found myself consumed by all the thoughts I have to push aside in the light of day. With my attention no longer set upon my priorities, the dark seep in from every dark nook and split to surround with taunts designed to pull me into a downward spiral.

So here it is – the restlessness – only because you’ve run out of options to distract yourself.  This time, I want to see how long I can go teasing myself with the idea. Why did you think about it anyway? It only came into mind just because you’re running out of things to do. We have the tendency to self destruct. We are like walking time bombs, threatening to explode with the slightest hint of nostalgia.

At this very moment I am supposed to be thinking about something else, but may I just ask have you ever considered yourself stupid? Have you ever felt useless? Have you ever thought of just quitting? Do you ever get confused sometimes about where to place your emotions? Why do we always have a “somewhere else I’d rather be”?

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I’ve never realized it until now, but there’s something about roller coaster of emotions that intrigue me. I know that this could only mean one thing: I am in search of solace. Where do I find it? Is it in the person you love? Your family? Friends? In coffee? Cold bed? In an empty room?

Sometimes I wonder, in my search for solace, who will come with me, when they all have somewhere else they’d rather be?

All these thoughts are running in my head. I just wanna shout it all out to release my anxiety. But will I ever feel better if I would entertain such thoughts? I don’t think so.

I try to shake them off, these black wisps that claw at my heart and mind. I’m exhausted, and I know that I should be asleep. I have things to do tomorrow. But the dark of the night brings about a quiet that seems to open the door to them. I find no escape.